Better prices (one price), better availability (his hours), no subscription (he would hate that). Access Wouter through a single, OpenAI-incompatible API.
The complete OpenWouter catalog. Routing between models is not supported, because they are all the same man in different moods.
| Model | Description | Context | Output price |
|---|---|---|---|
| wouter-1flagship | Wouter, at his desk, between 09:00 and 17:00 CET. Frontier-grade refusals with occasional unsolicited feedback about your life choices. | 1982–present | €0.02 / opinion |
| wouter-1-turbo | Wouter immediately after coffee. Same answers, delivered faster and with less patience. Available 08:45–09:10 CET only. | 1982–present | €0.02 / opinion |
| wouter-1-mini | Wouter, but he is tired. Responses limited to "nee," a sigh, or both. | today only | €0.01 / sigh |
| wouter-1-august503 | Returns Service Unavailable for the entire month. This is not an outage. This is the roadmap. | n/a | n/a |
| joost-9bdeprecated | Wouter's nephew Joost, age 9. The only model in the catalog that ever said yes. Deprecated after the incident with the trampoline. | ~20 min | 1 stroopwafel |
Transparent, in the sense that Wouter will tell you exactly what he thinks of it.
Wouter does not read your prompt. He read one once, in 2023, and has been recovering since.
Opinions are billed whether or not they were requested. They are usually not requested.
Wouter's chain of thought is not available via the API. We have seen fragments. It is devastating.
Live. Computed from the only SLA that has ever mattered: the clock in Utrecht.
OpenWouter is satire and does not exist. There is no Wouter, no B.V., no utrecht-1 region, and no acquisition by Stwipe, which is also satire and also does not exist. Any resemblance to actual persons named Wouter is coincidental, and honestly they would say no to being involved.
OpenRouter and Stripe are real companies, unaffiliated with and presumably unaware of this site; the parody here comments on their public announcements and marketing. Nothing on this page is pricing, advice, or a product. Announcing fake acquisitions of real, tradeable companies is securities fraud — this page names only fake ones, and you should too.
The /v1/no endpoint is real, though. That part works.